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The Q'uranaway Train
Israeli urologist treats intimate problems of Arab potentates
Kinder-cop, Israeli style
"Chickenshit" protesters miss their targets
Cow envy in Crawford
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Israeli gorillas go kosher for Passover
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Rabbi makes anti-gum ruling: swallow, don't spit

 
GazaDisney management upbeat despite slow start
By Martin Bodek  September 19, 2005
 
GazaDisney: Something fun for the little ones. (AP Photo)
 
One month after its opening, the Gaza Disneyland theme park -- just a stone's throw from Gaza City -- is not proving to be the cultural invasion that management thought it would be.

One reason for this appears to be the inability of Palestinians to break their lifelong habits of mass homicide. Several families, one ticket seller and one mascot were vaporized when one Palestinian father mistakenly forgot to defuse the bomb he had strapped to his month-old child just three weeks earlier.

On Monday, a cool and blustery day and the first after Palestinian school holidays (Q'il Ahjoo and D'eth T'uizrail), many of the British, Italian and Dutch visitors ran away when GazaDisney workers, known as cast members, shot their rifles in the air for no apparent reason.

The rides are also turning visitors away, as the themes are considered objectionable and really not all that much fun. In a survey conducted by the park it was found that 23% didn't like the name of Mad Yasser's Whirling Kassam Rockets, 48% did not find favor with the Big Brainwash Mountain Roller-Coaster and 92% objected to the title of the Q'uranaway Train.

Judging from anecdotal reports and estimates of rail and road traffic between Gaza City and M'urdr Infd'els, 32 bombed-out neighborhoods to the east where the park is situated, Gaza Disneyland has not so far been a big draw in the capital.

"We believe we can attract visitors if we keep the murder rate down a bit," said Yasir Araslim, CEO of GazaDisney. "Right now, 1 out of 5 visitors die by misadventure. If we can lower the casualty rate to 1 out of 10, we believe we can generate significant revenue. It seems that people who don't die are better repeat customer canditates."

The few tourists that didn't die have cited displeasure with the overall experience. "This park is ridiculous," said Patty Mendrum, a visitor from France, "First of all, I am never getting on a ride called Land Mines of Allah. Secondly, ugh, I think their hot dogs are literally hot dogs! Thirdly, I got questioned by some costumed mascots about my virginity, something about their suicide bomber program. I am so out of here."

© 2005 TheKnish.com. All rights reserved. This material may be published, broadcast or redistributed as long as all the content remain intact, including this paragraph.


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