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| Jumping off a cliff. A bit like quitting a job, but more fun. |
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Orit is a painter and writer living in Tel Aviv. She is currently working on her first book, entitled The Fountain of Esther, a creative comparison of the Book of Esther and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.
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By Orit
November 5, 2004
One day last spring I found myself in a scenario I knew from experience was better to avoid: I was obsessing over a guy I had just met. After three dates I felt comfortable in revealing my eagerness to see Ari again. Suddenly, he didn't call when he said he would, and I began to wonder: Why isn't he calling? Was I too easy to get? Should I just forget about him? What the hell am I going to do now that I can't go out with him tonight?
After incessantly analyzing what could have gone wrong, I realized that my woes had little to do with Ari. I had nothing better to do than obsess. I didn't need another date -- I needed a job.
I had recently quit my PR job in Jerusalem to move to the Tel Aviv area and to finish my Master's degree. I had just handed in my last test, and the four empty walls of my grandmother's guest room, where I was living rent-free, were becoming all too familiar. While Ari had many great qualities, I had turned to him to relieve me of my boredom and inactivity -- not the proper motivation for a relationship.
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Now, instead of surfing Jdate, I'll be surfing Jobnet.
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Luckily, a friend of mine suggested that I replace her at "Mr. Tech, Ltd.," a company that distributes glues, pins, and tapes that bind together the itty-bitty parts in cell-phones, computers, and other electronic items. I found in Mr. Tech benefits I had sought in Ari: a sense of stability, a social outlet, and a means for self-expression. After my first interview, or "date," with Mr. Tech, I took the job. I started making money, feeling productive, and meeting people.
Despite my newfound independence, things didn't work out with Ari, and Mr. Tech became my new "relationship."
Ari was attractive, but Mr. Tech was too. The offices were modern and air-conditioned in a plush Tel Aviv office building. In my cubicle I organized, wrote, and edited English correspondence between suppliers and customers. This was my first job at an Israeli hi-tech company, and I was interested in getting to know the field.
Eventually, though, I started noticing Mr. Tech's foibles. Mr. Tech was extremely stingy. My lunch breaks were timed and deducted. I was castigated if I didn't print disposable documents on draft paper. Mr. Tech was a workaholic and had no qualms about making me work on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper eve.
Then there were the false promises. My boss, the CEO, knew I came from senior positions in communications, and she never mentioned secretarial duties in the job description. I could only move upwards, she assured. A few months later, though, she began to ask me to coordinate business her trips, to connect her calls, and to take care of her personal errands.
Finally, after a month of dodging the "us" conversation, my boss agreed to meet me to "coordinate expectations." We talked about my grievances, and she declared that my position was "Sales Coordinator" and not "Secretary." Referring to my complaint about coordinating her trips, she said, "but you can learn a lot from calling travel agents! Like the different classes - W, Q - it's really very interesting." Did she think I was that dumb? Not only did we have communication barriers, but she insulted my intelligence. In short, Mr. Tech and I were not a good match.
So not long ago, I dumped Mr. Tech.
I'm not sure what will happen in the next few weeks when the "break-up" is official. It seems to be common knowledge that one shouldn't quit a job if there is nothing else lined-up.
But I think that the fear of leaving an unsatisfying job is the same fear that keeps people from leaving unsatisfying romantic relationships. While financial considerations often play a role, more often than not, we are afraid of the unknown; we want to avoid loneliness; and sometimes we are afraid of the identity crisis that follows major change. But I know that I'd rather suffer a degree of uncertainty than be involved in an unfulfilling, stifling, and unhealthy relationship -- romantic or career-related.
Now, instead of surfing Jdate, I'll be surfing Jobnet. A meaningful job and a meaningful romance involve similar requirements: a pleasant courtship, good communication, common interests and values, chemistry, and possibly even fate.
So I'll frugally live off my dwindling savings while I look for something new. If worse comes to worse, I'll waitress at a funky Tel Aviv cafe. Maybe what I need right now is a good, casual fling.
Views expressed by the author do not
necessarily reflect those of israelinsider.
 
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