By Jack Engelhard
October 6, 2005
Two Australian scientists, Barry J. Marshall and Robin Warren, have been awarded the Nobel Prize in medicine for, as the New York Times tells us, "showing that bacterial infections, not stress, was to blame for painful ulcers in the stomach and intestine."
Now, I don't know whether either Marshall and Warren are Jewish, but their discovery got me to thinking, and hoping.
Maybe in the coming months researchers will find the remedy for anti-Semitism, which is quite surely inflicted on us by people who suffer from painful ulcers in the stomach and intestine. You think I'm kidding? No, I have long maintained that anti-Semitism is a disease, an actual medical disorder.
Anti-Semitism is genetic AND infectious. It's in the DNA, AND communicable.
The mechanism of Tourette's Syndrome appears akin to that of anti-Semitism. Just like in Tourette's, sufferers just blurt their anti-Semitism out, involuntarily.
The latest proof comes from George Galloway, an outspoken British MP whose controversial views are adored by the Left. Galloway was on Bill Maher's TV show and the topic was not Israel, rather Iraq. But as we all know, no matter the topic, Israel can't be far behind.
So in the middle of this discussion on Iraq, Galloway demands the full attention of the audience and the camera to tell us, his face bloating with rage and satisfaction, that the Israelis who were thrown out of Gaza -- well, they all receive half a million dollars OF YOUR MONEY!
This, of course, is a big fat lie. Most of these heroic and patriotic Israelis have been dispersed (intentionally) and left standing in back of the line to collect any sort of recompense (false promises were made), much of which has ended up in some big black hole of corruption.
Settlers no more, they are now refugees in their own God-given land. A good number are being sheltered in this and that hotel, like disaster victims. These are the men, women and children who built an oasis from the swamps of what became Gush Katif and is Gush Katif no more. So now, instant vagabonds, they await their next sorry move even as their hotel hosts want them out for lack of payment.
The final insult? Many are being dunned to pay up the remaining mortgage for the homes that the government destroyed. Incredible. But the point is Galloway. From out of nowhere, from a discussion that focused on Iraq, along comes a mouth roaring Israel, foaming with blood libel. As I said, Tourette Syndrome.
People with Tourette just can't help themselves; it's reflex.
That's not to say that all Jews are necessarily smart, or healthy, or immune to the anti-Semitism bug.
Only this explains Mort Zuckerman, real estate tycoon and publisher of the New York Daily News. No dummy, right? During Israel's self-inflicted pogrom, the above-mentioned ouster of Israelis from Israel (Gaza), Zuckerman raised $14 million from himself and other Jews, yes Jews, to save the Israeli-nurtured Gush Katif greenhouses for the Palestinian Arabs.
The Palestinian Authority refused to pay Israel anything for the greenhouses, so Zuckerman and friends bought the greenhouses for them. After the Israelis left, the Palestinian mobs swiftly moved in and did what they do -- destroy.
Zuckerman, we understand, is shocked and amazed that this happened. What can I say? It's a disease.
Meanwhile, fortunately, and contrary to Hemingway, the good sometimes die old, in this case Leo Sternbach, who left us at the age of 97 at his home in North Carolina. You may not know the name Sternbach but surely you know Valium. That's what Sternbach invented, along with an entirely new class of tranquilizers. Sternbach, Jewish, and living in Europe, made it out just in time when Hitler took over.
How many people around the world benefited from this Jewish scientist? Valium was the most prescribed drug from 1969 until 1982, and it is still going strong.
No, Sternbach did not find a cure for anti-Semitism, but as for you anti-Semites out there who are sorry that Hitler did not finish the job -- well, if Hitler had finished Sternbach there'd be no Valium. Thousands of other Sternbachs did get finished by Hitler and it is a certainty that as they got finished so did the cure for cancer, which surely went up in smoke at Bergen-Belsen.
Maybe it's time for anti-Semites gloating, or bloating, with self-satisfaction (and painful ulcers) to think this through. Or, at least, take a Jewish-invented Valium.
If they can stomach it.
Views expressed by the author do not
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