By Orit
September 11, 2006
I'm not allowed to be happy.
Or, shall I say, I shouldn't write about my being happy, so says one of my editors. My writing, he says, is sharper and better when I'm angry, pissed, and miserable.
Well, then, I guess I won't be writing a column for a while because, what can I say, lo and behold, to my utter surprise, I am, well, happy.
I don't know how long it will last. Maybe it's just a phase. But since my landing in Israel I've experienced a calm and peace of mind that has eluded me ever since the Expulsion of Gaza in August 2005.
I've decided ever since my return from my summer visit to Los Angeles that I will not let things get to me (I know "things" is a bad word to use here, but I'm too happy to think of something better). I'm going to deal with the Israeli shit I face--accept it, even embrace it, and understand that there are great things about Israel, and not so great things (I know the word "great" is not a descriptive adjective. My editor may have been right).
The first shitty ("shitty" being another less than admirable adjective) thing about Israel is the political system. Yeah, I live in mixture of a tyranny and democracy, but lately, there is more awareness on behalf of all Israelis that the government--its leaders and system--is inept and corrupt. Ever since the Lebanon debacle, no one will defend the government, unless you are the government.
The second shitty thing is the pushiness. When I got off the plane, I wanted to treat myself to ice cream. Some Russian Israeli cut me in line, but my Christian friends would have been proud that I turned the other cheek. I won't fight this triviality. I have time. I'm learning to be patient. When there's traffic or people are honking their horns while I'm driving, I turn up the radio, take a deep breath, and wait for it to pass. What a concept! (Excuse tense shifts in this paragraph, I'm delirious!)
My friend says this means that I'm actually a true Israeli now. There is a time in every Israeli's life when he or she learns to accept the difficulties of this country and ride with them. In this acceptance, we start enjoying the goodness the country has to offer.
The third shitty thing about Israel, at least now, is the weather. God, Tel Aviv is so hot and sticky. How do people live here? The weather alone is enough to make me long for Los Angeles.
But there are some great things about Israel, too. Sometimes, when I allow myself to be positive, I look around and think: I'm living in a miracle. I know this is going to sound cliche(sorry, I'm on an Israeli high), but it is really amazing ("amazing", bad word, I know) how in just 58 years, we've created a modern country, revived an ancient language, settled Biblical landmarks, built skyscrapers and cafes on coastal sand dunes, and have given refuge and self-expression for Jews throughout the world. As long as the government doesn't get in the way, I know we'll continue to flourish, because deep down, that's what Israelis want.
Another huge difference is that I don't have this "Re-alignment Plan" hanging over my head, which had been a constant source of depression and frustration. I feel some sort of major revolution in the air, waiting to burst forth like a fountain. The time is ripe, if we idealists can pounce on it (mixed metaphors and awkward sentence construction, forgive me, I'm so relaxed).
I think my break in the United States has done me good. Everyone needs a break from this country. I think I was just really worn out. My batteries have re-charged. They'll probably stay charged until my next trip to the US. That's another reason why I'm happy: I plan to make my US summer trips an annual tradition.
It's just too bad that my new mood may not be so good for my writing career.
Views expressed by the author do not
necessarily reflect those of israelinsider.
 
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